From CHEATERS® surveillance cameras, you are about to view actual true stories, filmed live, documenting the pain of a spouse or lover caused by infidelity. This program is both dedicated to the faithful and presented to the false-hearted to encourage their renewal of temperance and virtue.

LOL Yea I watch the show a little too much. Back to the point, Mr. Married and I met at an upscale Cuban bar not too far from my job. There was nothing particular about him other than his penchant for buying drinks and actually holding a conversation. 30/30 works well for free dranks and snacks and sometimes you go just for the perks. In addition to all that, he promised to gift me an umbrella since it was raining and I didn’t have one. I thought it was a nice gesture and told him that I would hold him to it for the next time we saw each other.

Anyway, we agreed to go to a bar one night for more of the same. I frequented this particular spot several times that year and grew very comfortable with the bartenders so when he didn’t show up on time, I wasn’t too bummed. I just chatted up the other patrons and harassed the staff until he finally got there about 45 minutes late. His excuse? Well, he got held up at work. And that should’ve been clue #1 that he was married and a cheater, but I was a too blissfully tipsy to notice.

We had a good time, all things considered. I mean it wasn’t a love connection, but he didn’t scoff at my silly choices on the jukebox (Mariah, Prince, Belinda Carlisle..yea all over the place) so I was happy. Before long, the bar was closing and he was paying our tab. As we’re walking out, he says that he has something for me in his car. Naturally, I looked at him like he was crazy, but he laughed and assured me that it wasn’t like that.

So, I’m sitting in the passenger side of his SUV that’s lifted a few feet too many off the ground. He reaches in his backseat and pulls out a gift bag with pretty glittery tissue sticking out. To my surprise he had brought me the umbrella he promised. I thanked him with a hug and was reaching for the door handle when I see a woman standing there looking through the window. It scared THE CRAP out of me!

She then started pounding on the door and screaming for me to open it “RIGHT NOW!” I didn’t… I’m no fool. I just looked at him and asked him what the heck was going on. By the time I saw the deer in headlights expression on his face, she was on his side with his door open and a mouth full of obscenities for him. The only words that I could clearly make out were “Who is she?” and “wife,” which was more than enough for me. Neither of them noticed as I inconspicuously walked to my car and jumped in. My engine starting in the empty parking lot drew their attention to me and as she started walking over, I gunned my car in the opposite direction and got the heck out of dodge.

Predictably he called to explain less than an hour later, but by then I was at home on the phone with Dunkley telling him what happened. When the phone rang the display read “Do Not Answer” (yea I’m quick with it) so I didn’t know which one of the other losers it could’ve been and didn’t answer. The message was lame, something about being separated from his wife and happy that he at least got a chance to spend some time with me even if I never called him again. Riiiight.

So for all my trouble, I didn’t get my umbrella (I left it behind in my mad dash to get out of the car) and I didn’t get to meet Joey Greco. Oh well…